Sardonicus Maximus

The Wesley Snipes "Pay No Income Taxes" Program

Grandma On Josh Groban: "Such A Beautiful Voice On That Young Man"

Orange County Man Disappointed To Learn Of Actress Sarah Paulson's Sexual Orientation

Holiday Tips For Dysfunctional Families

Facebook Subscribers, God Wants You To Know...

From The Creators Of 'Your Baby Can Read' Comes...

Teen's Increasing Over-Use Of Sarcasm SO Appreciated By Mom

Kanye West Interrupts Family Thanksgiving Meal To Launch 10-Minute Rant Against Green Bean Casserole

Study Reveals Widespread Sense Of Inadequacy Accounts For 94% Of Extra Large Condom Sales

Glenn Beck Asks: "Don't you see what's happening here? Don't you get it? Do I have to spell it out for you?"

Ask An Out-Of-Touch Octogenarian

Gay Man, 2 Gay Teens Beaten And Sodomized By Gang Of Irony-Challenged Youths

Bill Compton Visits Jersey Shore: "Snookeh!"

"Snooki" Lands Lucrative Book Deal

The Conventional Dolls Lose Suction...

Bell, CA City Manager Rizzo: I Had To Cover Han Solo's Debt Somehow

An Original Haiku By Liam Neeson

In Theaters This December... Crispin. Courtney. Mel... "Trainwreck"- Witness The Carnage

Washington Generals To Replace Coach After 80-Year Losing Streak

Daddy, I Want An Oompah-Loompah Now!

Broke Nicolas Cage Forced To Sell Property, Handjobs

He Is: The Most Contrived Advertising Creation In The World

We're Generation Heinz, And We Will Not Turn It Down!

Yes. I'm Undead, Sir. But I Seek Your Daughter's Hand... And Brains

Professor: "That's What I Love About These College Girls, Man..."

You'll Get Half A Stick Of Lint-Covered Juicy Fruit And Not A Penny More!

Mel Gibson Begins Long, Daunting Process Of Repairing Image By Brutally Raping 8-year Old Boy

Let A Hirsute Middle Aged Cypriot Ignite Your Passions

Could I Interest You In A Fresca?

GOP To Babies: Days Of Sucking At America's Teat Are Numbered

Cage. Nielsen. Ice. In New M. Knight Shyamalan Project