Sardonicus Maximus

Bill Compton Visits Jersey Shore: "Snookeh!"

"Snooki" Lands Lucrative Book Deal

The Conventional Dolls Lose Suction...

Bell, CA City Manager Rizzo: I Had To Cover Han Solo's Debt Somehow

An Original Haiku By Liam Neeson

In Theaters This December... Crispin. Courtney. Mel... "Trainwreck"- Witness The Carnage

Washington Generals To Replace Coach After 80-Year Losing Streak

Daddy, I Want An Oompah-Loompah Now!

Broke Nicolas Cage Forced To Sell Property, Handjobs

He Is: The Most Contrived Advertising Creation In The World

We're Generation Heinz, And We Will Not Turn It Down!

Yes. I'm Undead, Sir. But I Seek Your Daughter's Hand... And Brains

Professor: "That's What I Love About These College Girls, Man..."

You'll Get Half A Stick Of Lint-Covered Juicy Fruit And Not A Penny More!

Mel Gibson Begins Long, Daunting Process Of Repairing Image By Brutally Raping 8-year Old Boy

Let A Hirsute Middle Aged Cypriot Ignite Your Passions

Could I Interest You In A Fresca?

GOP To Babies: Days Of Sucking At America's Teat Are Numbered