The Jersey Shore reality-TV personality, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, most famous for drunken arrests and showing her crotch in public, who has never even read a book (much less written anything) has just signed a deal with Gallery Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, for an as-yet undisclosed amount to write a novel. Yes, a novel. So any of you out there who has reached the age of 40 without yet realizing your dream of selling that screenplay, getting that novel published, landing that record deal or whatever your life-long dream has been, you might as well draw a hot bath and cut deeply into your wrists. Face it, loser. When a drunken, illiterate Oompah-Loompah can have a hit television show and a book deal while you toil in middle management, maybe it's time you just pull the plug.
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