"Awww, man! She's a lezbo? For reals? No fucking way!" cried Brian Milinovic, an unemployed Orange County man. "Did you see her in 'Deadwood'? She was so hot! She totally seduced Titus Welliver's character in that one episode where she looks him right in the eye and says, "Take me upstairs and fuck me right now!" That was so hot," the disheveled couch potato assured us, adding, "She faked that? Fuck!"
The lovely and talented actress was outed in 2005 by then-girlfriend Cherry Jones who thanked her in her Tony Award acceptance speech.
"I know 'Down With Love' was a star vehicle for Renee Zellweger, but Sarah stole the show! She made ol' Turd Sniffer look like a basket of busted assholes by comparison," chimed Milinovic. "And I know she played a dyke in 'The Other Sister', but I thought that was, you know, acting." When asked exactly how her sexual orientation affects his enjoyment of her work or his attitude toward her, Mr. Milinovic replied, "I don't know, ya know? It's like, I mean, she plays for the other team, man. It's like there's almost no chance now. That's just kinda depressing."
Yes, Brian. We understand. And we feel your pain.
Ahahaha! Awesome!
ReplyDelete