Boardroom Zen: Daily Affirmations For The Upwardly Mobile



  In practicing good self-love, in accepting myself as I am, I free myself from the burden of giving the slightest shit about you, you fucking loser. 

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You are the thoughts you choose to consistently hold in your mind, whether you are conscious of that choice or of the thoughts themselves.
And I am rich. Bitch.

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Gazing out my window, I see the majestic eagle soaring through a gloriously blue sky. I am reminded that my only limitations are those that I impose on myself. Turning my gaze downward, I see your battered 1998 Kia Spectra and thank the Universe I got a business degree. 

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I am dedicated to the goal of living up to my full potential, to climbing to the top of the ladder of achievement, and to lift up those around me in the process. Or step on their throats. Whatever it takes to get me there.

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Today I let go of expectations and accept things as they are... so long as things are going my fucking way.

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Be mindful of your thoughts, for they direct your actions. Be mindful of your actions, for they reflect on you directly. Be mindful of your speech, for others perceive you through what you say. But mostly be mindful of Barry in accounts, because there's no telling how that incompetent shit-bag may tank any chance of you hitting your bonus this quarter.

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