Shia Lebeouf Raped By Imaginary Woman In Fitful, Wet Dream

"It was awful... I think," the actor recalled, speaking to reporters at a special screening of "Fury". "I mean, I seem to remember waking up to this intense feeling of being violated, you know? Degraded. Used," he continued. "But then the details started fading as my eyes adjusted to the light and consciousness set in. That's when I noticed the wet wad of spunk in my chonies. It really happened! That's all the proof I needed," the troubled thespian explained. "That's why I've decided to come forward and tell my story. To spare future victims. If by sharing this deeply personal, horrible pain I can save even one person from a similar fate it will be well worth it. I believe I owe it to them," the "Transformers" star concluded. 

The gaggle of reporters could not shout their queries fast enough:

"Doesn't this make a mockery of actual rape victims?" and...

"Weren't you alone in bed at the time?" and...

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" 

"Really? Victim blaming? In 2014?" Lebeouf retorted contemptuously. "I suppose I was asking for it, right? Maybe I shouldn't have been wearing nothing but my Calvin Kleins if I didn't want to be molested in my own bed, right?! You people disgust me!"


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