The Don Draper Diet And Fitness Regimen

Don Draper. Madison Avenue maestro. Advertising legend. Creative genius. Fitness fanatic? You probably would not have guessed that. And you probably would have been right. But one thing is undeniably true: whatever he's doing it's working remarkably well for him. If you want a Don Draper physique for the beach this summer, follow his four simple rules.

1. Breakfast: The most important meal of the day. Nine times out of ten Don's breakfast of choice is grapefruit and cigarettes. One time in ten it's dry toast and coffee and cigarettes. And ten times out of ten it's whatever he can manage to keep down that particular morning... and cigarettes.
2. Graze often: Literally. Grains are high in complex carbohydrates, sellenium, vitamin B9, and dietary fiber. Grains help to regulate insulin levels and blood pressure, and maintain healthy bowels, reducing the risk of colon cancer. Don Draper consumes grains frequently at any time of day, and you should, too. Of course, a high-powered executive like Don has no time to shovel spoonfuls of oatmeal into his gob. So he takes his grains in liquid form. Canadian rye, Kentucky Bourbon corn, Scotch barley. [Don's tip: try them with a pack of cigarettes]
3. Don't eat very much, or at all: Just got home from work and the wife has your dinner plate in the oven? Tell her you're not hungry and pour yourself a drink and light a cigarette. Kids having a Sunday pancake breakfast? Tell them pancakes are for kids and make yourself the quintessential manly brunch beverage- a Bloody Mary, easy on the tomato juice. Perfect for a smoke on the patio.
4. Exercise as often as possible: But you have to keep it interesting or you'll never stick with it. Don's secret? Have sex at least seven times a week and, again to keep it interesting, with as many different ladies as you can. Remember, a gentleman always lights a lady's cigarette before lighting his own after giving her a sound Rogering.

Yes, it's just that simple! Follow Don's example and you'll be envied by every guy and adored by every lady in no time. Cheers!